Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
