If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it was like having sex with a tree stump
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
