Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
