Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
