you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i now understand why vodka
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
