if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
