she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
