i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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