What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
this hospital has no fireball
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
