After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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