This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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