I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize