Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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