There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
