Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
