You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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