Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
