if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
then he tried to convert me to islam
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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