definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
