So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
