ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize