I wannas sexs uuuuu
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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