we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
