Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
