Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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