Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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