am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
