would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
