I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
