just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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