I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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