I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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