So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize