In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize