he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
