question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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