Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Terrible idea I love it
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