Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
