I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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