Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize