Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
