Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
