I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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