Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm too high and old for this...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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