I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
