im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
