I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
