I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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