Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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