I didn't shave. On purpose
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
