we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
