i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
