I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
