so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
