Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
