i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
A+ Viking dick
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize