Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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