its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
