think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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